There’s penis, dick, wanker,
Then cock, tally whacker,
And some people call it a dong.
Clam digger, clam hammer
A beef stick, hole-jammer,
A six, or a seven-inch schlong.

Thomas and Peter,
Sir Percy, Pied Piper,
A Johnson, jackhammer, and hog.
Baloney, prick, lizard,
The staff of a wizard,
his magic wand, eel, hot dog.

Anaconda, kielbasa, torpedo,
banana, bald eagle, cucumber, python.
Glister pipe, fiddle stick, fishing rod,
Gear shifter, pecker, bush-whacker, baton.

Boner and winky,
a cyclops, and dicky,
a love gun that fits in her hand.
Spindle or cockatoo
Man Rifle, buckaroo
Or the ‘D’ that women demand.

Tallywag, hussington
Bean tosser, man mutton,
Bald-Pated Friar from Kent
Handle, or doodle
A crupper or noodle,
the pole in your midnight tent.

There’s poinswatter, hamburgler, wangdoodle, netherrod, longfellow, bludgeon, love bone
Barber Pole, wimble, a love truncheon,
And it’s the prick that will make your girl moan.

Candycane, honeystick,
Popcicle, jizzlewick
Some people call it skin flute.
maypole or pizzle,
The hose that may drizzle
His hand is strumming his lute.
Hard-on, bore, tosser,
A spike or his auger
A cannon that blows its load.
Hair curler, toe curler,
Red cap, French Tickler
A Techie calls it his Node.

It’s a ding-a-ling, jiggler
a cutlass, and wiggler,
a bayonet, sweetmeat, parasol.
A Foremast, and aftmast, and pee-pee
And yet there are many more
Which make men’s egos soar.
Here’s a secret for you,
just whatever you do:
you must never say that it’s ‘small!’