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The Good Ship Venus

from 7 Deadly Sins by Ménage à Moi

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Such a fun song, I've adde many an original verse to this cult classic

lyrics

My mother she did warn me
those sailors they are horny
“Don’t be a dope and drop the soap”
Or your ass will be all torn-y.

‘Twas on the good ship Venus,
By Christ , you should ‘av seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed
The mast was a massive penis

The captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night were lily white
By morning they were scarlet

The fiddler’s name was Morgan,
He was a grisly Gorgon,
Three times a day he strummed away
Upon his turgid organ

Chorus

The boatswains name was Seamus
had a trick that made him famous:
He lit the wick on a candlestick
and shoved it up his anus

Although Seamus is pallid
And cannot write a ballad
Give him a change, he’ll do a dance
And then he’ll toss your salad.

That Charlotte was a strumpet
Do anything for a ducat
She’ll shove her fist up to the wrist
And use you like a puppet.

The fencer’s name was Erryol
Your best friend while peril
He had such skill, it was a thill
When your turn in the barrel!

The ship’s cook named O’Malley,
He didn’t dilly dally,
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
It whitewashed half the galley.

The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
he packed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

Now Charlotte’s thighs are bloody
So Rob said to his buddy,
“Now it ain’t right, but just this night,
I’ll stick it where it’s muddy!”

So now we end this serial
Through sheer lack of material,
We wish you luck and freedom from
Diseases ven-e-real.

credits

from 7 Deadly Sins, released July 1, 2017

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Ménage à Moi Chicago, Illinois

Humorously indecent. Always discreet. The top-shelf comedy stylings of Ménage À Moi pair nicely with either a cooling beer or a warming tequila shot. Come for the liberated, inclusive camaraderie. Stay for the belly laughs, new friends, and an organic unpredictability that ensures every show is unique. ... more

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