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The Moose Song

from Raise a Toast by Ménage à Moi



Traditional, new lyrics GMLarson


When I started high school, was an innocent lad;
Didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, or do anything bad.
But then I heard stories of wild sex and booze;
And a disturbing song about sex with a moose.

Moose, moose, I like a moose.
I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.
I’ve had many lovers, my life has been loose.
But I’ve never had anything quite like a moose.

When I'm in the mood for a very good lay
I go to the closet and get me some hay
And I go to the window and spread it around
For the mooses will come when there's hay on the ground

Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair,
I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose!
Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,
But it’s not the same when you slam their caboose
As the feeling you get when you screwing a moose!

And there have been times, a moose can’t be found
And that's why I carry their pictures around
So when I'm alone, I don't hesitate
I’ve got one to look at while I masturbate

So went off to heaven, my soul sailed away.
I’ll stand at those gates, with a bale of fresh hay
And when they inquire, as to my grin;
I’ll end up in hell humping mooses again

Now it has been said that what I did was wrong.
But if that is the case, why did they write this song?
A moose as a partner is misunderstood
And if you haven't tried it, Then maybe you should


from Raise a Toast, released July 1, 2019


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Ménage à Moi Chicago, Illinois

Humorously indecent. Always discreet. The top-shelf comedy stylings of Ménage À Moi pair nicely with either a cooling beer or a warming tequila shot. Come for the liberated, inclusive camaraderie. Stay for the belly laughs, new friends, and an organic unpredictability that ensures every show is unique. ... more

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